Illuminating the mother wound

Illuminating the mama wound

Mother’s Day is one of those American holidays that many will engage in blindly, not ever thinking to dig beneath the surface of their own true relationships that they have with their mothers.  Many will attend family gathers bearing a last minute gift for their mother’s seeking to follow what’s expected of them instead of truly connecting with the energy of what their mothers brought into their lives. What makes us so afraid to seek true connection with our mothers?

As an ambassador for the Divine feminine, personally, I feel that mother’s deserve to be celebrated everyday, not just on a man made holiday to stimulate the economy and to bring the illusion of love and devotion to a particular role that any woman if she’s capable or willing can fill.  After all we are built to be mothers physiologically, sometimes that’s easier said than done but for many women, it does and can happen. However, it doesn’t mean that what your mother had to give you was in fact what you needed. More on what I mean by this a bit later.

America has a very bad habit of creating illusions that most will blindly follow based on “what’s always been done”, however if you take just a moment to peel back the layers of deception you will find that many of the messages that the media shoves in our faces about women in general are not in fact very “mother like”, nor are they dripping with subliminal messages of nurturing, loving and supportive actions toward their daughters or children in general.  The biggest indicator of the reality of how the American culture truly feels about “mothers” is seen in Disney films, movies and in children's books.  I often wonder why in most of the popular children’s movies the mother is always either dead or in the process of dying and the children/child are left to be raised by the father? Think of the Disney cartoons, why are the daughters always left in an epic battle to even exist because her natural mother is dead and is left in the clutches of a step mother or a “Witch”, who is so threatened by her youth, her beauty, her innocence that she seeks to murder the young girl? What’s the message?  Why is the media so angry with the image of the mother? Why is the patriarchal so threatened by this role?  I would also ask, why as mothers are we planting these seeds into the subconscious minds of our own sons and daughters?  

It’s painfully obvious to me that most of society to a large degree is wrestling with the “mama wound.” That’s what I call it. The wound that never heals due to our inability to pin point the angst that arises from our dysfunctional relationships with our mothers, mother in laws, etc.  I truly believe that in order for us to heal as women, to have successful and fulfilling friendships with women and to be able to engage in healthy loving, romantic relationships that involve sexual interactions, we need to heal the mama wound at all costs, to understand, clarify and to forgive her and ourselves.

I know that I will not get “brownie points” for this blog.  It may feel or seem like a “downer”, especially on the Eve of Mother’s day, however as a spiritual healer and teacher, I seek to empower others in gaining a deeper perspective on their lives and challenges, where they come from and seek to work with clients on how to heal anything they do not see as being valuable to their highest good. I find it imperative that we shed light on pain, anything that causes confusion, so that we can begin to access self- understanding and forgiveness. For far too long there has been confusion, anger, rage, pain, wounds gaping open that don’t ever seem to close no matter what we do in regards to our relationship with our mothers, it’s time to shed light on the mama wound so we can reclaim apart of ourselves that has become lost in the darkest corners of our souls, heal it, understand it, make peace with it and become free.  This is about being emotionally healthy and thriving in such a way that we cleanse and purify our relationship with a being that gave us our first contact with another and unknowingly set the pace for us in every other relationship we will ever have. 

Please understand that I am in NO WAY indicating that every single mother on this planet, or at least in America have wounded their children, I am not saying that any mother is “bad” or “good” or “right or wrong”, or that every woman or man has a wound by their mothers, what I AM saying is I have done enough research, seen enough clients both male and female and healed my own mother wound to know that this issue is very real and one that should be brought out in the open so that if anyone whose reading this finds resonance can take back their own power and reclaim their right to emotional happiness.

Of course what it means to be a “mother” is going to be different for each woman, because each woman is unique.  After all none of us are perfect, however, I believe we all can do with a bit of “tweaking and loving adjustments” from time to time in order to create sacred space for healthy relationships. After all we are here having a human experience as spiritual beings, change is always in order so we stay fine-tuned. Is that easy? Not always but I believe that astrology is the most potent tool one can use to assist anyone in gaining understanding about who you are and how you were nurtured as a child. Most often one can see in a chart and the relationship that the moon makes what kind of person someone’s mother is and most importantly what her challenges are as a person. This inadvertently ushers in some level of compassion and renewed love for clients who seek to truly heal the mama wound as they begin to see how what they didn’t receive as a child truly plagues their relationships and has created dysfunctional patterns as adults.

You may be asking how can one focus or even being to understand our relationships with our mothers and if need begin to heal?  That has a simple answer, astrology!

In astrology the moon is the direct representation of the mother and what ever zodiac sign your moon is in at the time of your birth will determine what your needs are, any connections to other planets etc. to your moon and the energy it generates will determine whether or not your mother was able to meet your needs or if she for whatever reasons “fell short.”  I am of the belief that by delving into the deep mysteries of your moon sign, one can truly begin to peel back the many layers of confusion. Knowing your moon is one of the most important gifts in astrology, it links us to our mothers, our past nurturing and our current patterns when emotionally responding to our environment.

The Moon in astrology helps us get in touch with our:

·      Our emotions
·      Our feelings
·      Our hungers in relation to how we were fed as children, food choices, food disorders, etc
·      Our desires, what is it we think we want based on how objects of desire make us feel
·      Our psychological responses to things, people, places, memories that trigger us
·      Is the key to our past and the situations that may need to be healed
·      Our patterns that we create to cope in the world in mostly in relationship to others, sometimes these patterns need to be recognized and broken for healthy responses to be given toward others
·      Assists us in finding our shadow (unconscious self)

This Mother’s Day I encourage each of you, whether you are celebrating a mother who is currently with you on this planet or one that has passed on, to take some time delve into the questions that will bring YOUR relationship with your mother into greater focus.  Asking questions such as: “Do I genuinely understand the relationship I have or had with my mother?”  Or “In what ways did my mother’s presence in my life nurture me?”  “Did my mother give me what I needed?”  Once we begin to dig into those shadow aspects of ourselves we can truly begin to experience healing and authenticity.  


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