Love yourself through self care!

Triple Goddesses
Self nurturing and care during the holiday season is crucial for all who happen to find themselves being caught up in the commercialism and pressure to buy, entertain and indulge our senses.  However, as a woman who wears many hats, one of them being a High Priestess who govens all women's mysteries, I feel it is ever more detrimental for women to be mindful of the need for self care and self nurturing during this hectic time of the year. Women in general provide so much sustenance to many and often don't consciously take the time to relieve the pressure, the tension or stress, which when left unchecked can conceive, eventually give birth to many monsters that eventually will have to come out of the closet and create all kinds of unwanted havoc in our lives.

 Life is ever changing all year round but its presence is made more intense during the transition of seasons from late summer to fall to winter.  The sun disappears, the winds begin to blow and there is a chill that hits the air, if you live in colder regions you can look forward to snow falling, unless that is if you're anything like me, my body has grown to truly dislike the snow, cold and grey skies, I need plenty of warmth, sunshine, snuggles and hugs, relaxation and down time during the winter months, my body is truly in tune with the cycles of change and transition.

So, it is during this time the Goddess circles comes into mind for me, it is during this time many of my clients will contact me, desiring connection, an astrology reading, needing some answers to life's new endings, many of them are shedding during this time and releasing old patterns that they've cultivated or just out grown from the previous months and are feeling tired, heavy and experiencing the desire to hibernate.  The call to bon fires, fire places, candles being lit and unnatural lighting being turned off,  the need or instrinsic desire for deeper levels of meditation is upon us, fierce and unrelenting.  It's the call of Goddess  Baba Yaya, or the Navejo Goddess of the Changing woman, she's upon us, whispering, coaxing and encouraging us to die and be reborn.  If you are feeling any of these intense energies as of late, well actually many have been feeling them the entire year, cosmic forces have been aligning, ushering in dramatic and drastic changes. Most of this years theme have revolved or evolved around relationships, patterns that need to be extinguished or brought to our attention, spirit along with what and who walks with us have been pulling us in the direction we need to go, never ceasing to slow down even if our footsteps stumble a bit, here and there.  Have you been paying attention? It is during this time that the women of old, were led deep into the forests, our men left behind to wait for us to reemerge with messages from the Gods/Goddesses, angels, our ancestors, to understand, gain clarity and to move forward with what was good for the family, the clan, as individuals. Now, in our times, it's unfortunate we live in a world that doesn't support nor nurture the idea of women needing to go into the wilderness in groups, go to the tents, the temples, the huts, the lodges for some cleansing time, we are forced to defy an ancestral rite that many of our women folk had a chance to partake in. The call is strong and yet we keep pushing, we keep moving, drowing out the skreech of the Goddess, coaxing us to take US TIME. Although this practice should be done and heeded during anytime you get the call,  I find it especially important during THIS TIME we find the space, give ourselves the permission to stop and take care of US.  It is TIME to listen to our bodies, our  hearts, our souls and turn into SPIRIT. Hear the call of the Goddess and go within and although we can not go to a literal temple for women's circles or prayer, or cleansing, and deep ritual, we can create it with conscious INTENTION by just connecting with ourselves and other women who may need to do the same thing.

Black woman as Wonder Woman
It is with a loving and gracious heart that I feel we all need to have time to ourselves but also to uplift one another, encourage one another. I know within the African American communities there have been discussions about many black women falling into the "Wonder woman" syndrome. This syndrome in a nut shell means we have too much to do, with very little help and not enough hours in the day to get it all done. We sacrifice our health, our mental and emotional well being, compromise on love and engaging in healthy sexual relationships and before too long find ourselves burned out, sick, bitter or angry. Now, keep in mind that not ALL black women "suffer" from this highly contagious dis-ease but many DO and it's about time we put in some research to find a cure. I have found personally that
MY cure is MINDFULNESS=CONSCIOUSNESS and with consciousness we can begin to change the manner in which we handle the stress of life when challenges are thrown our way. Like our heroine in the picture and Wonder Woman's actions against injustice, we need to deflect what is not worthy of our attention, the people, the drama and the stress with our super shield of peace and armor of love and minds of gratitude and boots of truth and golden whip or is it a lasso??! of grace. We need to give ourselves permission to walk away and just say " NO MORE." Taking such actions are not selfish nor wrong, they are actually signs that one has an abundance of ever flowing self love that allows them to have zero tolerance for other peoples issues and their own lack of clarity that is so often projected unfairly unto others, more importantly YOU.

Goddess connections can occur anywhere in the world, it can happen on your job, within your family, with close friends or all by yourself with SPIRIT. Taking the time to sit down and assess what YOUR needs are will keep you healthy, productive, and feeling good about yourself. During the holiday season the focus is entirely on buying, doing and giving. We need to be mindful that although the holidays can bring about fun, excitement and cheer, it can also for many bring about depression, sadness, and anxiety. If you see one of your "sisters" in this blue state, find some space to sit down and connect, delve deep into your own inner state of being, release, share and let go! Sometimes just letting someone hear about our pain, frustration, sadness and anger can allow it to dissipate and then be re-born into something  productive. When we as women begin to understand how important it is to have a true,valued connection to one another we can then begin to heal not only ourselves graciously but also those we come into contact with and our very own families, relationships and communities will be blessed because we choose to do so. This is the blessing of the Mother Goddess, CONNECTIVITY, no matter her culture, the color of her skin, she is here to support and sustain each and everyone in their own interpretation and needs anytime, but especially during THIS time of the year.

You  may be asking yourself HOW do I take stock? How do I release? What do I let go of?  My answer to you is simple: Anything that no longer or does not SERVE YOU or YOUR HIGHEST GOOD. You know what they are, your subconscious has been showing you. Anything that makes you cringe, a thought, a pattern of behavior, a reaction to someones projecting or limited point of view. That over-eating you do late at night snacking while in front of the TV, the 2 extra glasses of wine you drank at dinner, or you snapping at a co-worker due to you just not having the same perspectives, the argument's you have with your spouse or lover, your challenges in not being able to find time to workout, your fussing all the time over heavy traffic, being short tempered with a loved one, your child, a dog etc. The list can go on and on. Things that we do all day on an unconscious level, I call them "knee jerk reactions" and we all have them, it's something that triggers them, usually these reactions are not apart of our natural personalities but constructs of what kinds of stress we deal with on a daily basis and in the end if we allow these stresses that pile up, then we will EXPLODE. So, why not let them go, release them through POSITIVE MEANS of expression? Kiss those "knee jerks" good bye and enjoy your life moment by moment in peace and more support than ever before?

Try this…

  • Have you always wanted to learn how to do Latin dance? Instead of paying for an item you DON'T need, why not spend it on a class or buy a couple of DVD's and de-stress! 
  • You want to loose a few pounds or because exercising just feels good (actually it's the best depression reducer and it encourages healthy sex drive and well being) get up and walk the dog, hit that treadmill that's been your clothes rack for the past 4 months or go for a swim! 
  • Want to re-connect with your partner? Schedule in some romantic time, go out on a date, clean up the bedroom, change the sheets on the bed, put the kids down (if you have any) and have some intimate time! The point is to reconnect on a positive level
  • Want to vent? Instead of eating a box of chocolates cause your boss pissed you off today, go hit the gym, hit the punching bags, do yoga, or even call a girlfriend over for dinner and cook a healthy meal together and release and let go!
  • Create a support group for women that meets once a week to discuss issues and how to make the necessary changes in releasing and letting go!  It doesn't take any money and it provides something that is sustainable for women to look forward to so that they CAN have safe space to heal and let go!

My prayer for you, one and all, is that you find the necessary gems of self love, self care and self nurturing not only during the holiday season but for continued health, spiritual growth and development and well being. My desire is for you to connect with another a "sister" who wishes to create a unit of support for one another and if led, form a manageable group of women who wish to do the same. In doing so, you are taking care of your lives and all those you take care of will benefit from a healthier, more relaxed you given with love, devotion and dedication!  

Happy Holidays to all and love yourself! 


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