The word Queen is widely used within the African American diaspora. It's been used to denote a woman of high status and something to be sought after by men of color who desire a woman whom he depicts as the ultimate prize, under this context we have to assume that he considers himself a King, worthy of her attention, her political savvy, sexual prowess and ruler ship, as a mother, a lover, a wife and his oracle. That's the dream. However, the reality is that there are many women within the community of color who have forgotten that they are descended from actual Queens and Kings.  The forgetfulness has kept them enslaved. Our history and "herstory" have been stripped away to little and for many nothing, leaving many to scramble with a limited view and misunderstanding of who we actually are. Misrepresented in the media, and exploited by it, we have succumbed to the lies that we watch on BET, MTV and VH1.  The ratchet music we purchase that supports this distorted view of what women are in this society is truly damaging us and our children. These images are depictions that belittle us and leave us in chains.  We are still enSlaved. Society seeks to keep many Queens of color enslaved. Therefore we do not have the right or the authority to truly sit on any throne because we have been living lives of debasement and have therefore be devalued.  *many men of color have fallen prey to the same ills and truly are not at King status but that is another blog*

As a High Priestess of women's mysteries (the Moon) I have found it necessary that in order to lead anyone, it is imperative to LIVE what it is I teach. Having come from a path of not mixing well with the media hype so many of us fall prey too, I in fact stuck out like a sore thumb. Never having been one to "twerk" it or "drop it like it's hot" in anyones club but to dance with self respect and sensuality, to never drink to the point of getting drunk and loosing control, to carrying myself with pride, dignity and integrity, I often did not find myself fitting in. However, I was singled out by individuals who recognized my power when I didn't even have a clue what it was myself.  ON an intimate level I was never promiscuous,  I found it difficult to be with just anyone as I am highly empathic and sensitive to energies therefore, I was very selective with whom I shared my temple with and am still like that to this day. Once I began my journey over 13 years ago, to find inner understanding, inner peace, self knowledge and self love, I gave myself willingly to the Goddess, I prayed to my ancestors for the strength and the guidance needed for me to begin to see myself clearly while undergoing the painful process of a divorce, with a newly discovered pregnancy, I made it a point to heal myself so that I could be a direct model and representation of self respect, dignity and self love, to set an example, to this angel who yet to be born. When embarking on this journey I had no idea the Goddess would take me down the path she did. I am ever grateful for having made the choice because the woman that sits before you today is one that has had the hardship, the sacrifice and has done the work to find herself completely and utterly whole, ready to be the Queen on her throne.

During the first step of this journey I decided to offer my body to the Goddess as her temple. During that process I let go of bodily pleasures and sought spiritual ones, I therefore was taught and led to provide pleasure to myself. In doing so I had to learn about myself, my body, my drives, my desires and my needs I was determined that I had to take responsibility in discovering who I was, what I liked and what I needed. Society teaches you to place that responsibility on the man, I found that too daunting and just not fair. I needed to know myself before he came along, therefore equipping him in loving me more fully. Many of these teachings led me to sacred sexuality, Tantra, Taoism, Self sexual healing techniques, meditation and yes, even therapy. Many of these tools that I acquired were made through the conscious choice of sacrifice. Something that I am finding many are in awe of and who find repulsive. Many don't want to make the sacrifices necessary to be the Queen. Why not?  One of may main motivations was to live a life that my baby girl could respect and hold her head high when speaking about her mother, so that she wouldn't be traumatized by my choices and my own repetitive trauma. I felt it was time for me to live a life that I could hold my head high too. By doing so, I made a choice to not to have faceless men running in and out of my house, my life, or my body in front of my daughter, I decided to not have inappropriate representations of relationships in front of my daughter and latter for my clients whom I now lead. I made the necessary sacrifices and engaged in conscious healing to stand in the presence of the Goddess and be crowned a High Priestess. You can do it too.

I did not do this out of fear or desperation, I did this out of love, not only for myself but for my child and later my clients. To live a life of healing sexual trauma, discovering insecurities and finding the space where I got to know myself better. It has led me down a path that is so powerful that I now stand in a energies of the ancient ones that is so unprecedented than anything I could have ever imagined. So, what does this mean? What does it mean for you?
In order for women of color to rise to her Queen status, personal sacrifices need to be made, sacrifices that lead to self understanding, love and inner acceptance. No man who is not yet a King can provide you with this. You have to dig deep and find it within yourself or you will be doomed to repeat the same mistakes. That means that choices have to be made to not wear clothes that lessen your character, to not talk in a way that belittles you, to seek education, and to learn how to love yourself in ways that make you feel proud about you. If you have children, understand you are a direct representation of how that child will understand and thus live in the world, no matter male or female, you carry a powerful projection and application of what they will become or later judge. Within you ladies, you carry the DNA of Kings and future Queens in order to stand by your King's throne AND to sit in yours we have to take a different approach to how we live our lives and be mindful with whom we share our bodies with. We can no longer take lightly whose seed we choose to carry because make no mistake it is US who decides whose seeds shall reign, not the male. These are only snippets of the women's mysteries that I live and teach, it's only the tip of the iceberg and it is one that touches me deeply and therefore holds tremendous power for you.  Keep in mind that I have found more often than not that many men will recognize a Queen and not uphold her to that status all the time, only when it's convenient, only when he wants something and usually it's sex. That is not acceptable. Any man who is a true King should always lift you up, but keep in mind you have to be on the throne first and decide to STAY THERE, it is when you make that choice he will make the decision that his arms will never get tired. That means as you go on your journey of sacrifice for your greater good, that many, many, many men will approach you, seeking to revel in the power that lay within you.  They will seek to plant their seed within you because they want their DNA to have that lineage of royalty. However, a Queens throne is NEVER fully complete with her King OR Pharaoh at her side, he rules with her, and in order to recognize him, you have to do the work required to heal.  Understand that it's not that we can't raise our babies without him, it's that we recognize the value of HAVING HIM there on all levels.
So, don't balk at not having sexual relations for a period of time, don't balk at not engaging every man that you think is "cute" and makes your sacred center vibrate. It's about discernment and about making a choice that will be advantageous for your soul and your Queendom. It's okay to say no! So many women and men are shocked when I share how long my personal sacrifice has been in that regard, now no one has to be like me, our journey's are different, however, I found that it brought me clarity when "interviewing" men who stepped into my court. I was able to dismiss many who were in fact replicas from my past. I also saw many who had potential to be a King but I felt were not ready to rule by my side. Then there are the one's that are special, the ones that are the King AND who are already establishing a Kingdom. Those men are rare and far and few between once you raise your energy and vibration they will come into your court. Be thankful and choose him wisely.  Personally, I decided a long time ago to WAIT for that KING so that I can match my energies to his vibration and seek to heal this world together, ruling side by side.  In doing so, I kept my sacred temple in preparation for him and only him. Now mind you I never said he was to be perfect, even as a King, he will make mistakes, but as his Queen who is not perfect either, we support one another and make the necessary adjustments as they come. Let's keep in mind that a King is never truly complete without his Queen and vice verse. We need one another to fully and effectively rule a Kingdom.
 As a Queen I carry my sword with power and only wield it when necessary. As a Queen I wear my crown with honor, giving thanks to my ancestors who've paved the way for me by their sacrifices and blood. As a Queen I set an example for my children, run my Queendom justly and with humility and with keen insight. As a Queen I honor my body, my temple by eating right, exercising, and using discernment with whom I share it with. As a Queen I patiently wait for my King to come into my life to rule with me, submissive to his dominance but never a doormat, never abused but respected, loved and full of my own power.

Any true King will see these attributes in you and lift you up onto the throne, make you his Queen both legally and spiritually and provide you with the necessary means not only for your survival but for your victory in this world and the next. Ashe!


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