To submit or not to submit in relationships. Part II


 
 This poster is how I view a love relationship! It screams volumes to playing out the dynamic of submission.
 
 This second part of the blog continues with the original found here: http://moonstemple9.blogspot.com/2013/06/nsfw-to-submit-or-not-to-submit-in.html

 Nice to see you made it the second installment :) Truly the idea and practice of submission is not for everyone. These are just my insights from a spiritual perspective not a dogmatic one. Okay. In part I, I spoke about the definitions of submission and humility, while also sharing my perspective on the concept. In this installment I will be sharing what submission can look like and how to apply it in your relationship if amiable. 
 
As a sexuality coach and educator, I will also be speaking on the concept of sexual submission this week but not in detail on this blog since it's open to anyone who clicks the link. I will  provide the link here for you to check out my sexuality blog: "Sex, Candy, Spirit" , I started last year. Looks like I'll be resuscitating it. Please 18 and older ONLY! http://sexcandyspirit.blogspot.com/ 
 
 
I think it would be marvelous to look at what the synonyms are to the word SUBMISSION, I found these to be powerful in the clarity they bring to this entire concept.  I would like to take a look at a few of them. You may recognize a couple of them from the Part I.
Synonyms
compliance, conformity, obedience, Agree ability, teachable, surrender, yielding, deference, dutifulness, humility, inhibition, repression, restraint, suppression, control,  discipline, service & order.

When looking at a love relationship we can look at the act or choice of submission a gift of deference. With this deference as we spoke about in Part I it is a spoken and unspoken gift of allowing your dominant partner to assume most of the control that the direction the relationship moves in. Providing room for error because we are still only in a human form. Opening the doors to communication is key to gaining an understanding of what both of your needs are so that you can both flourish in the relationship. Surrender. To surrender is to allow your partner the opportunity and gift to lead. When you surrender it does not imply you become a "doormat", it implies that you have built trust within your relationship and feel secure in shifting power. Yes. Power. All relationships especially love relationships are steeped in power, whether we choose to admit it or not. Agree ability means that we don't fight the choice to submit, we are open to it happening and look for ways that we can enhance the dynamic. How do we do this? By finding power in our own ability to lead other aspects of the relationship. These aspects of the relationship are personal to you and your partner but can be utilized none the less. As a woman who willingly submits, you can take a position of cutting your worries, tasks, responsibilities in half! I don't know about you, but I like the sound of that!


!
We must always remember that COMMUNICATION is key in any relationship, well it's one of the keys. This communication is not about screaming, cussing, yelling, shouting, throwing hurtful words or using your partners vulnerability as a weapon. It's very much about being honest, where the two of you  make time to sit down and discuss what it is your feeling, needing, not liking and what you feel needs to change. This requires adult behavior and the ability for you to tap into who you are and what you need. It also calls for the both of you to have GOOD LISTENING skills. To stop, be quiet, truly listen to your partner and then pause, recap it, and then let your voice be heard. If you find you are difficulty communicating without becoming angry, then communicate that to your partner, that you need a moment to regroup, leave the room, take a walk, and then when you are able come back and respectfully discuss the issue at hand. Now keep in mind that this applies to BOTH of you. Effective communication takes practice. But the desire for control another one of our synonyms to be put into practice. It takes mindfulness and conscious interaction to not get down and dirty when things get heated. Take a moment, take a deep breath and then start from scratch with nothing but the best of intentions and honesty in your heart, this allows you to practice restraint, when you do watch how your connection intensifies.

These next words are going to be intense for many! My intention is only to expose you to how this word and it's synonyms can work for you in a relationship.  Discipline. How does that apply? Well in more ways than you would think. Discipline is required in expressing any of the principles that I shared. If we do not WORK at what it is we desire, what suits our needs, we are not being authentic of our true spirit or nature. When that occurs we experience pain and suffering. Discipline is the ability to adhere to something, to stick with it, so that you achieve the desired outcome. If your goal is to have a relationship that shines inside and outside the home, and you believe that being submissive to your mate is apart of that, then applying discipline of what you can control will aide the success of the relationship. So, you may be asking what does that look like? Expressing your power within the relationship can be in making sure that you shop and prepare healthy meals so that the both of you can enjoy a fruitful life, it also means that you may be in chart of the household, keeping it clean, yes, doing chores, we all have to do them, organizing (this encompasses another word ORDER) the household, the children (if you have any), social networks, and many more options.  It can also be getting up at 5am to make sure your partner gets a good breakfast before they go to work, making sure they have lunch and send them off with a smile by offering your partner some lovin... oh it truly changes the outlook on your day! it truly doesn't have to be complicated just mindful!


When we are able to allow the clouds to clear from our hearts and let self love and romantic love touch our souls we are opening ourselves up to both to deep universal and personal experiences. We can begin to see clearly and what we once feared is crushed beneath our feet and as we look back we wonder why we were ever afraid to defeat this particular dragon.  When we do this we can then begin to release inhibition in love, in our sexual expression, our connections, our communication, we no longer find the demon of repression, either in the mind or even in the bodies expression. Truly one of our gifts is our ability to be FREE and to explore that path of blissful connection. Yielding to this desire can bring experiences of ecstasy that allow the soul to release, expand and soar. When we have a space where we can feel safe and offer our service to another knowing it will not be used against us but celebrated, knowing that this love can liberate us, it is then we can surely find joy in our dutifulness and devotion to not only our truth, but the truth of the partner.

"Above all, I will wear my title of submissive with honor, I will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak, a doormat, disrespected or abused!
  I will take pride in who and what I am, and will never show myself in a negative way. I will always allow my words and my behavior to shine favorably upon my partner (husband)  in private and in public."   


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